


How to Fall in Love in Seven Days

by charcolor



Series: Twinkie in Seven Days [2]
Category: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Genre: Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, F/F, Friends to Lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-18
Updated: 2018-08-16
Packaged: 2019-04-20 00:08:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 18,904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14248803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/charcolor/pseuds/charcolor
Summary: There is definitely something strange about the way Pinkie Pie has been acting around Twilight Sparkle lately, but what could it be? And, more importantly, why does Twilight seem to enjoy it?





	1. Sunday

**Author's Note:**

> this takes place at the same time as How to Kiss a Pony in Seven Days. so even though i started writing this one second, it doesn't actually matter which of the two you read first. ^^'

Twilight Sparkle would sometimes have fits of insomnia.

They were usually caused by some kind of anxiety. Even the times it seemed they weren't, she'd realize the cause of it sooner or later. Tonight was one of those times. It was strange, and a little frustrating, to be stressed over something she couldn't figure out.

It wasn't as if she had any big plans for Sunday. She was going to visit Pinkie Pie to help bake Applejack's birthday cake for her party on Tuesday, but that was all. It wasn't anything to stress over. Sure, Twilight was a little clumsy with baking sometimes, but Pinkie never chastised her for it or anything. On the contrary, she was never anything but encouraging toward Twilight. That would certainly quell her anxiety at least a little. 

If Twilight couldn't sleep, she could probably see if Pinkie was awake. They could get a head start on baking. Plus, Pinkie was so excitable all the time, it made Twilight feel a lot less nervous somehow. Maybe it was just a subconscious comparison that she always made. The only issue was that Pinkie usually wasn't up this early, but it couldn't hurt to check. Twilight would get some fresh air, at least.

The window was easy to open from the inside and close from the outside, so Twilight was able to make a swift, silent exit.

It was windy, like on most autumn nights. Twilight loved to have the breeze go through her hair as she flew, and she loved to look up and see all the stars scattered across the blue night sky. Being outside like this was almost too relieving to let go. If Twilight was lucky, Pinkie would be awake right now, too, and they would have time to be outside together. She knew Pinkie would be fine with it. She was enthusiastic about everything, which could be very validating in certain situations.

Pinkie's curtains were open. It was dark in her bedroom, but if Twilight squinted she could see some movement. Sure enough, when she got closer she could see Pinkie Pie lying on her bed beside her alligator. Twilight didn't want to lose the chance to talk to her, so she immediately landed herself on the balcony.

The door had a window, too. There wasn't any glass, which seemed very impractical, but at least it let Twilight see inside. Pinkie flinched at the noise Twilight had just made, and looked up at her through the window. "Twilight?"

Now that Twilight was actually doing it, it felt weird of her to just barge into her friend's bedroom this early in the morning. She opened the door with ease and tried to greet Pinkie with a smile and a small wave through her embarrassment. "I didn't know if you were awake."

Actually, Pinkie was still under her blanket, though it looked like she'd hastily pulled it over herself. She'd probably been out of bed until just before Twilight arrived. "Then why'd you come over?" she asked. There wasn't any bitterness in her words, just curiosity. That was to be expected. Pinkie Pie was rarely bitter anyway.

"You don't close your curtains," Twilight answered, "so I figured if I saw you awake we could get started early." She was still thinking about taking Pinkie outside afterward, just to look at nature, but she didn't want to be overbearing.

Pinkie grinned in response, but only for a second, seeming to suddenly realize something disappointing. "But I don't wanna wake anypony up."

Oh, right. Pinkie didn't live here all by herself, and she was almost certainly the only one awake at this hour. Trying to bake a cake with her in the kitchen would make a huge racket. Twilight wasn't sure how to solve this. "I could make a bubble," she thought aloud, "but I'm not sure if I could be able to actually help much with baking."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Pinkie asked, tilting her head.

Pinkie probably didn't know what the heck she was talking about, so Twilight just clarified how a bubble of silence worked. "If I lose my concentration while keeping up a bubble of silence, it'll pop. And it's kind of loud when pops. Multitasking certainly wouldn't help." The only time it'd really happened was during her incident with Moondancer. Moondancer simply popped the bubble on her own, but Twilight still knew that spells like that required the majority of her focus. She could hold a conversation while doing it--or else it would be pointless to use it to catch up with her childhood friend in a library--but that was the extent of it. Baking needed more attention than Twilight would have available, especially at her skill level.

Pinkie seemed to understand well enough, and she was clearly unhappy about it. "I guess we'll have to wait after all," she sighed, falling back onto her bed.

Twilight really needed to think this through next time. Sure, Pinkie was awake, but that was only one of the factors that would help get the baking started early. Now Twilight had just intruded on her when she could be sleeping. "I'm sorry."

Pinkie lifted her head to give Twilight a smile. "Why? Is it your fault that it's five in the morning and the Cakes don't wake up this early?"

Something about the way she said it made Twilight laugh a little, like Pinkie was genuinely curious and considered it a possibility. Pinkie started to giggle too, so she probably figured out the answer to her question pretty quickly. Twilight didn't like standing at Pinkie's door like this, and she wasn't quite ready to go back home, so she sat on Pinkie's bed beside her. The laughter faded, and when Twilight looked at her, Pinkie was watching her with interest. Maybe it wasn't a good idea to just sit here without permission. She winced. "Um...I can come back later--"

"No, no, don't go!" Pinkie sat back up to face her. "I'll be  _so_  bored! There's not a lot you can do when you're trying to be quiet!"

It was ironic for her to say that when her voice was starting to become a shout. "Well, talking isn't really something you can do, either," Twilight remarked.

They sat beside each other quietly for a moment, which wasn't too bad, but probably not what Pinkie was seeking. She glanced over at Gummy, as if silently asking him for a suggestion, even though he was clearly asleep. She looked back at Twilight, her smile returning. "We could go somewhere else. And we'll know when to come back when we see the sun come up."

The sun! This was a perfect opportunity to go outside for fresh air. Twilight had found a nice, quiet area with grassy hills a while ago, on a different sleepless night, and it seemed like the perfect place to watch the sunrise, as long as Pinkie was willing.

Twilight didn't say anything until they'd left the bakery, because she had to figure out how to make her enthusiasm sound like a casual suggestion. She still couldn't help smiling at Pinkie, though. "Let's go somewhere to watch the sunrise."

Pinkie nodded. "Where do you wanna go?"

It'd be more convenient for Twilight to fly her there. She was used to holding Pinkie's weight by now, anyway. "Get on, I'll take you," she said, opening her wings.

"Ooh, you're gonna fly there?"

As predicted, Pinkie clapped her hooves together excitedly when Twilight nodded. She waited until she felt Pinkie's hooves around her to take off. Pinkie's hold tightened as Twilight flew, likely just for the sake of stability. She seemed very happy about this, if her giggling and squealing was anything to go by. She was really cute when she was this enthusiastic. Twilight couldn't help laughing a little as she landed on one of the hills.

The sky was still totally dark aside from the stars. It was fascinating to think of how it would be full of light and color within the next hour. "You can see the sunrise perfectly from here," she said as Pinkie hopped off of her. "It took me a week or so to find the best place, so I still haven't shown anypony else."

"Is this a secret?" Pinkie was glancing all around as if she were expecting spies to appear out of nowhere. "Did you have to do something magical to get here?"

"No, no, there's nothing magical about this place. Or secret." Remembering that Pinkie was probably more sensitive to autumn chills than she was, Twilight pulled her under her wing. "I guess not a lot of ponies are enthusiastic about the sunrise."

"I am!"

"You don't count. You're enthusiastic about  _everything_."

Pinkie laughed and snuggled against Twilight. "Plus, I always oversleep, so I haven't actually watched a sunrise in  _forever_." Suddenly, she gasped and pulled away. "Oh, no, what if I fall asleep and I miss the sunrise?"

"Well, there's plenty--"

"You can't let that happen, Twilight!" Pinkie, probably trying to be intimidating, grabbed her shoulders and squinted closely at her. "You  _cannot_ let me sleep!"

Twilight gently pushed her away. "I don't think you need to worry about losing your energy, Pinkie."

Pinkie accepted that as an answer. She sat back down beside Twilight and calmly asked, "What time does the sun rise again?"

"Princess Celestia usually raises the sun at six. Give or take a half hour. And I'm not sure it's even half-past five yet." Twilight was, admittedly, starting to feel more eager about it. She still hadn't forgotten the first sunrise she'd ever seen, and how awestruck she was watching something so magnificent. She relived that fascination every time.

Pinkie was probably impatient for that. She sighed and fell on her back. "If only I'd taken the time to draw a watch."

Twilight was so bewildered at this that she ended up laughing before she could ask for clarification on what brought her to that conclusion. "Why? Did something happen to your real watch?"

"No, but it'd be weird if I brought a watch, because I never wear one," Pinkie explained. "So if I drew a watch I'd be able to make a really quick excuse to leave if I needed to. But I'm not that good at drawing anyway, so I don't think I could fool you."

"I don't think so either," Twilight agreed, choosing to ignore the more obvious reasons why that scenario wouldn't work out. Pinkie didn't look like she was about to sit back up, so Twilight lay next to her. "But it was about five when we left, so it should only be about an hour."

"An hour can be really long sometimes, though!" Pinkie cried. "Can't you ask Celestia to raise the sun a little earlier?"

"I'm not sure she'd appreciate me waking her up early."

"But what if she oversleeps? You have to make sure that doesn't happen!"

"Celestia doesn't oversleep. She's the ruler of Equestria."

"You think she's never overslept in the thousands of years she's been alive?"

Well, of course Princess Celestia had overslept at _some_ point, but she was basically a physical goddess, so that issue would be gone by now. And as far as Twilight knew, Celestia was never late with raising the sun unless she was in some sort of danger. Somehow, Twilight knew that wasn't the case.

That didn't feel like it would make sense if Twilight tried to explain it, though, so she just said, "If she's half an hour late, I'll go check up on her, okay?"

"You're the best, Twilight!" Pinkie rolled over to hug her. Once Twilight was sure they weren't going to fall down the hill like this, she returned the hug with her wings. "Are you cold?" Pinkie asked.

"Not especially," Twilight replied. She knew why Pinkie thought that. She was so warm to hug, so Twilight probably seemed cold in comparison. "Do I feel cold?"

"Mm-hmm."

Pinkie pressed her head further against Twilight's chest. She seemed too relaxed to be awake much longer, but Twilight honestly didn't want to move. Would Pinkie be angry with her if she fell asleep and Twilight kept holding her like this? Twilight  _did_ feel kind of chilly, now that she thought about it, so hugging this warm, fluffy pony close to her felt really nice.

But every passing second she thought about it, it felt more unnerving. Was this weird? Was she going to come off as weird or clingy? She didn't know what to do until Pinkie, apparently not asleep after all, abruptly pulled away, like something had just startled her. "Are you okay?"

"What do you mean?" Had she sensed Twilight was flustered right now? She felt like she was blushing. She probably looked so weird right now.

"Never mind," Pinkie said, and lay back on the grass.

Twilight didn't know what to talk about now. She hoped Pinkie didn't feel as awkward as she did. She squinted at the horizon, silently pleading Princess Celestia to raise the sun any second now.

Her wish was granted. She sat up to gaze at the glow rising above the horizon, slowly spreading beautiful hues into the sky, light seeping through the cracks in the clouds, the whole world growing so bright, so quickly. But even through the moment of fascination, Twilight could feel something was off. She didn't know why, or what it could be. By the time the sun was almost completely filling the world with light, that tinge of anxiety was gone.

Twilight and Pinkie didn't say much to each other until they were back at the bakery. It was kind of unnerving, actually. Twilight kept expecting Pinkie to say something, but it didn't happen until she started telling Twilight her idea for Applejack's birthday cake.

"It's gonna be two layers," Pinkie explained, setting up the materials and ingredients at a rapid pace. "I'll make one and you make the other, and we'll put them on top of each other when we're done! It's gonna be a friendship cake!"

Pinkie gave her free will to do whatever she wanted with her layer. At first Twilight was unsure about it, because she feared that this wouldn't have enough cooperation and would lead to disaster, but Pinkie was surprisingly organized with her baking. She had a list sitting on the counter of things Twilight could use, and none of it even clashed. Of course, Twilight could never just stop worrying that easily.

"I'm just afraid of messing up," Twilight admitted. "I doubt I could meet your standards."

Pinkie just shrugged without looking up from her batter. "My standards aren't that high. Shouldn't  _I_  be the one meeting  _your_  standards?"

"What do you mean by that?" It wasn't as if Twilight looked down on everypony. Especially not her best friends. Besides that, Twilight didn't have baking expertise at all. She wasn't necessarily  _bad_ at it, but she certainly wasn't any better than Pinkie Pie.

"Well, you're the best at everything." Pinkie kept her eyes on her batter. It wasn't clear if she was embarrassed about her words or just very focused on her task. "Doesn't that make you hard to impress?"

"You're better than me at a lot of things, Pinkie," Twilight responded.

"Maybe I could be better at baking, but you're really smart and you're good at analyzing and stuff, so if you read a few books about baking you'd probably be better than anypony." The focus was abruptly broken when Pinkie dropped her whisk into the mixing bowl and sped to Twilight to pin her hooves to her chest. "Forget you heard that! I don't want you to get any ideas about running the Cakes out of business!"

"I'd never do that, Pinkie. Even if I wanted to, I wouldn't have the time."

Pinkie quickly stepped away, letting Twilight stand free from her pinning, and back to her side of the kitchen. It was strange how having Pinkie be so ridiculously suspicious of Twilight, yet optimistic and carefree enough to immediately drop it, was comforting. Why was that? Was Pinkie just nice to have around? Yes, that was probably it. It was hard not to be happy around a pony like her.

She'd never said anything like that to Twilight, though, about her being good at everything. It wasn't true in the slightest, but Pinkie wasn't the first to have said it, was she? Twilight had definitely been told that before.

"Rainbow Dash said something like that once, too," Twilight remembered. It was a long time ago, before Twilight had a castle and before Rainbow Dash became a Wonderbolt, but she somehow still remembered it.

Pinkie looked back at Twilight cluelessly. "She didn't want you to run the Cakes out of business?"

"No, about me being good at everything," Twilight corrected. "I don't know what it is with everypony acting like I'm some omniscient master of all trades. Is it--"

"Well, you  _have_  to be a master of trades if they asked you to settle disputes at the Traders' Exchange, right?"

"It's an expression, Pinkie. Like jack of all trades, master of none. It's impossible to be a master of everything, but everypony seems to think I am." That hadn't always been the case, had it? She never was put on such a pedestal when she'd started living in Ponyville. "It wasn't like that before. I miss it."

"Before what? Before your coronation?"

"That's what it seems like. I'm certainly happy with being a princess, but I'm still just a pony."

"That's not what you said when I said Princess Celestia might oversleep."

As anypony could guess, Twilight was prone to putting ponies on pedestals too. She knew it was ironic to start rambling about Princess Celestia and how much she admired her right now, but Pinkie didn't seem to mind. She kept working on her cake layer. Twilight knew she wasn't ignoring Twilight, either. She'd occasionally ask about a certain detail or giggle at a certain remark. Twilight was able to mix her own cake batter as she spoke.

They didn't talk about the cake itself until they'd baked both the layers. "I found some applesauce and I wanted to try using it instead of oil," Twilight revealed. "I read somewhere that it was a good substitute."

Before she could explain anything else, Pinkie hugged her without warning. "She's gonna love it, Twilight! You're the best baking partner ever!"

Twilight felt a mix of humility and nervousness start to stir in her. Whether Pinkie was being polite or sincere, Twilight wasn't quite sure how to react. "Are you sure? It was pretty risky, wasn't it? I hope it wasn't a mistake."

"Well, that's perfect!" Pinkie exclaimed. "Applejack likes risky, and applesauce! She definitely likes risky applesauce! You did incredible, Twilight!"

It seemed that Twilight was just in a mood in which she couldn't prepare herself for any kind of praise. She pulled away and gestured to Pinkie's layer. "What did you do?" It'd probably be easier if she could compliment Pinkie in return.

For a split second, Pinkie somehow looked like she was put off by something, but she ran back to the counter before anything could really be seen. "I sprinkled some cinnamon and chocolate chips in it! I wanted to put apple slices on top, and I think apple goes good with cinnamon and chocolate! I put melted marshmallow in there too, which is mostly experimental, but I've done it before and it ended up a-okay! I think Applejack's gonna really like it!"

Obviously, Pinkie didn't think that Twilight was inadequate, but Twilight felt like she'd done a lackluster job. "You're so thoughtful with your baking," Twilight responded.

Pinkie, unintentionally proving Twilight's point, had made the icing herself beforehand. It was white icing, but she had a lot of food coloring around, so they decided on pale yellow icing. Then, since Twilight had more dexterity thanks to her telekinesis, she placed the apple slices on top.

As Twilight went to store the cake, Pinkie said, "Thank you for helping me." She wasn't looking at Twilight anymore. Why did she look so shy all of a sudden? 

Twilight couldn't let it go unacknowledged. "Is something wrong?"

"No, I'm fine."

Pinkie was obviously lying. Since she was so genuinely happy most of the time, it was easy to see when her smile was forced. Sometimes Twilight would take it as a hint to leave her alone, but she needed to at least try to help. "I've known you long enough to know you're  _not_ fine. And I can't make it better if you don't tell me."

"I can't tell you." Pinkie's answer was immediate, and probably involuntary from the way her voice trembled and the way she was blushing.

This wasn't really a good situation for forcing her to talk about her problems. That sort of thing had given Pinkie Pie a panic attack before, maybe more than once. Still, Twilight didn't want her to think she didn't care. "Maybe you should get some rest," she carefully advised, not sure what else to say. "I'll leave you alone, if that's what you want, but don't hold everything in, okay?"

That was a good enough resolution for now, she hoped. Maybe by tomorrow, whatever was bothering Pinkie would blow over and Twilight could be assured that everything was fine.

* * *

The castle was quiet today. Starlight Glimmer was out of town, and Spike was probably just relaxing on his own somewhere. It'd be a good time for a nap, but Twilight didn't like taking naps. She was always scared of waking up too late.

She didn't have anything else scheduled today, either. It was Sunday, after all. Most ponies didn't like to do much on Sunday, therefore, they didn't make any plans with Twilight. This was perfectly fine, though. Twilight had plenty of time to plan out the next day.

One of the most important things was to make sure Pinkie Pie was okay. She was usually a late sleeper--this morning was just an exception--so Twilight would need something else to do first. She could sleep late, too, to make up for her fit of insomnia, but waking up any later than ten in the morning always made her self-conscious and she didn't want to risk it. She'd just have to solve it by trying to go to bed early.

Although, if whatever was wrong didn't go away, would Pinkie have the same problem with insomnia? Twilight had never thought to ask why Pinkie was up so early, and it was too late to run back over to the bakery and ask now. Pinkie didn't seem like she would have insomnia like Twilight often did, especially considering how bad she always was at staying up late, but Twilight was still worried.

Maybe she could ask Princess Luna--no, that was way too invasive. Why was Twilight so concerned about this? Realistically, it wasn't a big deal. It would only take a week at most to resolve itself.

Twilight realized the connection later, when she was thinking too much about that morning. When she and Pinkie were watching the sunrise, Twilight had felt something out of place. Only now did she recognize it as the sensation of being stared at. And since Pinkie had been the only one around, she was definitely the one staring. Her cheeriness hadn't faltered until they'd finished the birthday cake together, and the one thing she was sure about was not being able to tell Twilight.

The problem had something to do with Twilight herself. What could it be, and how was she supposed to feel about it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i will always find an excuse not to include starlight glimmer in my fics. don't test me


	2. Monday

Twilight Sparkle didn't want to see Pinkie Pie this early in the day. Even if she was awake, Twilight felt that she wasn't sure how to handle the possibility that things had gotten worse. Besides, Twilight was the reason for it, so it was probably for the best that Twilight waited.

She couldn't stand being alone right now, though. And it wasn't as if she and Pinkie were each other's only friends. After roaming around the village aimlessly, she decided to see Rainbow Dash. It didn't occur to her that Rainbow Dash was also a late sleeper, but it didn't matter. She was already outside, lying on her back in the clouds. Her ears perked up as Twilight approached, and she lazily waved a hoof to greet her.

"Good morning," Twilight said, a little out of breath from flying all the way up here. "Can I...talk to you about something?"

Rainbow Dash rolled onto her side. "Out here?"

"No, no, in your house."

Rainbow Dash shrugged and stood up. "Alright." Despite her slightly aloof tone, she still smiled at Twilight kindly when opening the door for her. Twilight didn't have time to look around at the admittedly beautiful house before Rainbow Dash sped past her to her couch, prompting Twilight to follow.

After settling into a comfortable position that left her wings exposed, Rainbow Dash asked, "So what's up?"

Twilight decided to just jump to what was on her mind. "Have you seen Pinkie Pie since yesterday?"

Rainbow Dash looked up and fluffed her wings in thought. "Uh...I don't think so. Pretty sure the last time we talked was on Saturday." She tightened her brow when looking back at Twilight. "Something up?"

Twilight shrugged. The answer was "yes," but Twilight wasn't sure how to properly word it yet. "I just wanted to know if you've talked to her."

"Nope." Rainbow Dash cocked her head. "Why, have  _you_ not seen her since Saturday?"

"Actually, I was with her yesterday morning," Twilight said. This would probably help make for a segway. "We were making the birthday cake for Applejack's birthday party. But I haven't talked to her since then."

"That's...a little weird. Is she okay?"

"I'm not sure." Twilight was able to explain now. "She started acting very nervous about something once we finished the cake, but she said she couldn't tell me, so I don't know how I could help."

Rainbow Dash began to lightly move her wings and hover. She crossed her forelegs. "Well, I can't help you there either, sorry."

"It's fine," Twilight sighed. This wasn't a good idea after all, was it? Why would Rainbow Dash do anything about this? She had to think Twilight was a freak.

"Do you  _always_ worry about Pinkie like that?" A smirk showed on Rainbow Dash's face when she said this. Did she know what Twilight was thinking?

And how was Twilight supposed to answer? "Yes" would sound kind of obsessive, "no" would sound inconsiderate. "I don't know," she settled on saying. That was always safe, right? No, it didn't feel like the truth. "I mean..." Twilight shifted her hooves, feeling the awkwardness tangled in her own words. "It's...I have a feeling it's my fault."

" _Your_ fault?" Rainbow Dash repeated in bewilderment. "What did  _you_ do?"

"Whatever she's worried about has something to do with me, I know it."

"You sure you're not just worked up?"

There was a point there. Twilight did always have a habit of being extremely anxious over small things, but she couldn't just outright dismiss whatever reason she had. "I think I felt her staring at me when we were watching the sunrise together."

"Sounds romantic."

_Romantic?_ Was that really an appropriate word? "W-what do you mean?" Twilight found herself stammering.

Rainbow Dash approached so that her nose nearly touched Twilight's, repelling her to take a step back. "I mean, watching the sunrise with a girl sounds kinda like a first date."

"We were just passing time until it was morning," Twilight explained, ignoring the glow she felt in her cheeks. "It was nice outside, so..."

"Uh-huh." Her magenta eyes narrowed with slyness. "Just two gals platonically watchin' the sunrise together."

"It wouldn't be anything like  _that,_ " Twilight protested, although she knew there was no way to persuade Rainbow Dash.

Rainbow Dash lowered to the floor, her teasing smirk warming into a smile. "Look, it's whatever. I won't tell anypony if you have a crush on her."

"I  _don't_!" Twilight could feel her face still burning when she looked away. Definitely no convincing Rainbow Dash now. She could at least try to change the subject. "A-and that wasn't the point, anyway!"

"Really?" The pegasus kicked into the air again, crossing her forelegs, this time with haughtiness. "You think having a crush on Pinkie Pie has absolutely nothing to do with the way you're worried about her?"

" _She's_ the one who was nervous!" Twilight reminded her. "I'm only worried because I don't know if something's wrong!"

"It was only yesterday, yeah? She has anxiety, Twilight--"

"I  _know_ that, but that doesn't mean I should dismiss everything!"

"--she has anxiety, it might've blown over by now. Why didn't you just ask her, anyway?"

"I  _did,_ she--"

"I mean this  _morning._ "

"I didn't want to be overbearing." With a quick meaningful glare, she added, "Like  _you're_ being."

" _Okay_ , I'll drop it," Rainbow Dash sighed with exaggerated disappointment. "But, really, I don't know why you wouldn't just ask Pinkie yourself. I don't think caring about your friends is overbearing unless you smother them." She rolled her eyes, keeping her smile. "Trust me, if anypony's gonna be  _overbearing,_ it's Pinkie, not you."

That wouldn't be true if Pinkie was upset with her, but Twilight didn't want to argue and end up a flustered mess again. "I guess you're right," she agreed. "I already planned to talk with her later today, though, so it's not as if I'm avoiding her."

"Go see her now, then!" Rainbow Dash jerked her head toward her door. "It's, like...nine-thirty, I don't think she's still sleeping."

Twilight still couldn't argue, so with a reluctant farewell she descended back down to Ponyville. Glancing at her castle, she noticed an unmistakably curly-haired pony shutting the door behind her as she left.

She was looking for Twilight, wasn't she? Twilight took the chance to fly straight over. 

"Oh, Pinkie!" Twilight swiftly landed beside her. This was already working out, even if Pinkie didn't look so eager to converse. She wouldn't look Twilight in the eye for long, but her smile peeked through, so that was a good sign. "I'm sorry, I was with Rainbow Dash. Did you need me for something?"

"Nope!" Pinkie answered, a little too quickly, slightly shuffling her hooves on the ground.

"Are you sure?" She probably wasn't telling the truth, given where she'd just been. "Then what were you doing in the castle?"

"I, um..." Pinkie kept her eyes on the ground and took a tentative step back. "That's a secret."

She'd been acting like this yesterday. The problem hadn't gone away, had it? Twilight had to find out now. Even if Pinkie had refused to tell Twilight before, there was no harm in trying again. "Is everything okay, Pinkie?"

"It's fine!" Pinkie yelled, stiffening. "I'll see you later!"

"Pinkie--"

But she'd already fled, and it wasn't a good idea to chase after her. The problem clearly hadn't gone away after all. And if Pinkie was becoming more persistent to avoid her, maybe it had gotten worse.

Was that Twilight's fault? What was she supposed to do? Would it be better just to leave her alone? No, that would just leave her even more worried.

Oh, that's right! Spike was still at the castle. Pinkie had been in there, so maybe Spike had talked to her. Spike would have an idea of what was going on, and he would be more direct about it.

Twilight found him sitting in his bedroom, a comic book open in his lap. Hearing her enter, Spike turned and waved. "Have a good walk?"

That was what she'd told Spike she'd be doing as she left the castle this morning. It wasn't really a lie. She hadn't planned to visit Rainbow Dash until she was already outside. "I did," she answered. "Did you see Pinkie Pie come in here earlier?"

Spike nodded, turning his attention back to his comic book. "Yeah, we talked for a bit."

"About what?"

At this Spike flinched. He sat still for a moment, then wordlessly glided a claw in a criss-cross movement over his chest, quickly flapped his hands, then closed a fist and lifted it to his eye.

"I see," said Twilight. "Never mind, then. I'll be in the library."

As a matter of fact, she  _did_ mind. But if Spike had made a Pinkie Promise to not disclose whatever Pinkie told him, it was really none of Twilight's business, was it? Even if something she couldn't describe compelled her to find out. It was like she had a hunch, but she didn't know what it was yet. The weight in her heart, the way it made it beat just a little quicker, was a very strange feeling. Twilight wanted to get rid of it. The only way she knew how was by helping Pinkie.

So even if it was obviously an important secret, was it wrong for her to try to find what Pinkie was hiding?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> twilight sparkle, blushing furiously: it's not like i have a crush on pinkie pie or anything............baka
> 
> sorry i'm still not good at ending chapters, even though this is just the same story as last time advafbwdb


	3. Tuesday

Twilight worried that she wouldn't see Pinkie Pie at Applejack's birthday party. It seemed like a silly thing to fret over, since Pinkie planned this party in the first place, but Twilight just wasn't sure how far Pinkie was willing to go to avoid her.

Fortunately, she did see her, laughing with Applejack. She didn't seem that troubled today at all. Would that change if Twilight spoke with her?

The best thing to do was probably to just be honest. She waited until Applejack left her alone. Pinkie didn't run away when Twilight approached her, so that was a good sign. "I was worried you wouldn't come," she said, hoping this was a safe way to put it.

"Why's that?" Pinkie tilted her head quizzically, apparently unaware of what would make Twilight worried for her.

Would it hurt to remind her? "Well," she answered cautiously, "I feel like something's been bothering you lately. I wouldn't blame you if you didn't come."

"Oh..." Pinkie evidently realized it now, flinching back and averting her eyes.

Had Twilight been too direct? "You don't have to talk about it," she hurriedly added. "But I don't want you to drive yourself crazy over it either. Princess Cadance told me about last time." Twilight didn't like to elaborate on it too much, because it was slightly distressing to think about. It'd clearly been more distressing for Pinkie, though. It was honestly sweet of her to try so hard to keep Princess Cadance's pregnancy a secret all for Twilight's sake, but considering that it led to her feeling that way, Twilight would not have blamed her if she couldn't hold it in until the end, especially since Twilight had had no idea how to handle it. "I feel a little guilty about it, to tell you the truth. I just feel like I could've done more to help you."

"Help with what?" Pinkie smiled at her, thankfully holding no grudge over it. "It's not like you could keep a secret from yourself."

"I...I don't know." Twilight's gaze fell to the ground, her tail curled around herself. "You had a panic attack on my ceiling. I feel like I should've been able to do  _something_ about it."

Pinkie only reacted at first by wincing and looking away again. Twilight was obviously making her uncomfortable, but before she could apologize, Pinkie told her, "Telling you would make it worse." Twilight raised her head to properly respond, but Pinkie quickly added, "But it'll go away eventually, maybe, I think, so, don't worry about it."

Even if Pinkie was right, Twilight didn't want to risk letting it all boil up into something more dangerous. She could at least be a little truthful about her worries. "I don't think it'll just  _go away,_ " she admitted, "but I don't want to bother you--"

" _You're not bothering me!_ " Pinkie leaped up to shout, then immediately cringed and cleared her throat. "I-I mean, you're not gonna bother me. I really like talking to you." She was quickly faltering, refusing to look at Twilight again and blushing furiously. "But, um, not right now! I need to do something! I'll be right back!"

Just as their conversations always seemed to end lately, Pinkie ran away before Twilight could say a thing.

It was frustrating. Twilight wanted to help, but she couldn't, because this all had something to do with her. As cute as it was when Pinkie blushed, Twilight would rather it be in a less stressful circumstance.

Would it be wrong to follow her this time? Nothing else was working, after all. She caught sight of Applejack, staring wide-eyed at something Twilight couldn't see. It was probably Pinkie Pie. Applejack trotted until she was obscured behind the barn. Applejack would probably know how to handle this, but Twilight couldn't help wanting to figure out the situation. 

She felt guilty about flying to the roof to eavesdrop, but it would be for the greater good in the end, right?

She saw the two ponies lying against each other, and smiled when she realized Applejack was successfully calming Pinkie down. After Pinkie lifted her head, Applejack asked, "What's got ya so worked up today, hon?"

This was good. Pinkie would have to trust Applejack enough to confide in her. Unfortunately, she didn't seem to know how to phrase it just yet. "I don't know what to do. It's gonna ruin everything for her and she'll never talk to me again--" She trembled and looked down at the dirt. "A-and then everypony else is gonna know--"

"Slow down, sugarcube." Applejack, her voice still sweet and calm, tilted Pinkie's chin up with her hoof. "What's this about ruinin' everything? What got that in yer head?"

"I have a crush on Twilight."

The sentence was so stunning that Twilight couldn't even react. She could only listen. She had to have heard it wrong.

"A  _what?_ "

"I've actually probably had a crush on Twilight for a while but I didn't even notice it until a couple of days ago and I started thinking about it all the time and I know that if I accidentally tell too many ponies I have a crush on her she'll find out and she'll be super freaked out and she'll never want to talk to me again because it'll be too awkward for everypony involved but the more I think about it the harder it is to talk to Twilight like nothing's wrong and I really want to be her girlfriend and kiss her a bunch but I really hate that I want to do that because it's ruining everything for Twilight--" Pinkie collapsed into Applejack's embrace. " _I just want everything to be normal again!_ "

There was no way Twilight could be seen here. Luckily, Applejack's property was filled with trees, and they seemed like suitable places to hide. Hoping nopony would spot her, Twilight found a tree close to the farther end of the orchard and buried herself in the branches. The way the branches poked at her was usually too irritating to tolerate for long, but Twilight's head was pounding too much for her to even acknowledge it.

She really couldn't understand. She couldn't fully comprehend the thought that Pinkie Pie had a crush on her. The way Pinkie had been so unbelievably nervous around her and her insistence on not confiding in her were supposed to fit together with that, but it didn't happen.

Twilight figured that the reason she couldn't react to that confession was that maybe she actually felt too many conflicting emotions that canceled out. But how was she to know what those emotions were? The feeling was too foreign for Twilight to describe.

But that cluelessness began to crumble, and Twilight could identify the things that quickened her heartbeat. Excitement, dread, hope, all knotting together into suffocating anxiety, which somehow brought clearer thoughts.

Pinkie Pie had a crush on her.

Truthfully, it was very flattering, to think that any girl would like her that way. And while Twilight dreaded such a drastic change in the path of their friendship, it was still the smallest bit thrilling to think that such a popular, outgoing pony, whom she'd grown to trust and cherish with all her heart, would have a crush on  _her._

And maybe Twilight did enjoy the idea of being romantic with her, having dates and such. But was that real? Could Twilight trust this sudden adrenaline to tell her what she really wanted, or was Twilight just desperate for that kind of affection?

It was impossible for Twilight to talk to Pinkie about this right away. Her judgement was too clouded, and she couldn't put how she felt into words anyway. But it wasn't as if they could avoid each other entirely until both of them were ready. How was one supposed to know that the other was ready? In fact, how was Pinkie supposed to know that Twilight knew about the secret? However, if they _didn't_ avoid each other, they had to see each other in an entirely different way. Even if the feelings of love faded, Twilight would remember the time when they remained, and that sort of thing could permanently taint their friendship.

Love...did she love her? Well, of course she loved Pinkie, but was she  _in love_? Twilight couldn't definitively answer that. She could be deluded into thinking that she was in love just because she knew that that was how Pinkie felt. But she didn't want to deny the possibility.

She didn't want to spoil the image she had of Pinkie, but she couldn't help thinking that being her girlfriend wouldn't be so bad.

Spending more time with her to see if the feeling was genuine was risky for their friendship, but Twilight couldn't see any other option.

* * *

Twilight didn't see Pinkie again until it was time for cake. She was talking to Applejack, drinking punch with her and pretending she had heard absolutely none of her conversation with Pinkie, when she noticed her lingering near the barn doors. Twilight didn't miss how eager Applejack seemed to leave them be, smiling nervously and turning away, when Twilight decided to beckon her. 

"Oh, Pinkie!" she greeted, waving to her. "I was wondering where you were!"

Fortunately, Pinkie was clearly much less anxious now. She happily trotted over with a smile. "I was wondering where  _you_ were," she replied.

Obviously, Twilight couldn't tell her  _that,_ so she tried to subtly change the subject. The first thing she thought of, oddly, was complimenting her. "You know, I feel like most ponies wouldn't bother to plan a party for Applejack, since her family always does something for her every year, but you really just don't miss a chance to celebrate, do you?" It was true, but probably a strange thing for Twilight to suddenly want to say. She hadn't thought about this for a while. "I guess you're family anyway, from the way you treat each other. I just think it's neat how you think of everypony."

It was definitely weird to just say all that out of the blue, but Pinkie didn't seem to think too much of it. She just giggled, "Everypony deserves to be thought of! I know Applejack's okay with it, too, she told me."

Twilight would've assumed so, especially after figuring out that Pinkie had a special party-planning room in the basement of Sugarcube Corner. "Don't you have that stuff written down anyway?"

"Well, she might change her mind someday," Pinkie explained with a shrug.

"Hm, that's true." Twilight sipped her punch, because it was a very refreshing berry taste that was worth a pause in conversation. "What if she wants a surprise party, though?"

"Oh, surprises are complicated," Pinkie answered immediately, bouncing up with excitement about the tangent she was definitely about to go on. "You can't tell somepony you want a surprise party because then you're expecting it and you're not supposed to expect a surprise because then it won't be a surprise and the best you can hope for is to be surprised on what day it is which means you can't make any plans like sleepovers or doctor's appointments because then you'll risk missing your surprise party or you could end up getting surprised next time instead except then you might not want a surprise anymore. It's easier if somepony tells you they like surprise parties because you won't risk disappointing everypony but you have to be careful to do it sparingly because if you do it all the time it'll stop being surprising. So the best thing to do is to ask if they like surprises, but not too close to the party or they'll be too suspicious, and if they do like surprises you have to make sure they don't have any plans that day and maybe have them make plans to spend time with you for good measure and don't surprise them too much or else they won't be surprised anymore and if they don't like surprises then just don't give them any!"

Pinkie had said "surprise" too many times for Twilight to have absorbed all of this properly, but it was actually sort of comforting. After seeing her be so nervous all the time for the past couple of days, it was nice to see her be so talkative again. Even if she was still blushing a little every time Twilight spoke to her. Pinkie didn't blush very often, but it was cute when she did. The only problem was Twilight wasn't sure how to respond to this. She figured the best thing was to just ask for more information. "So, um...does Applejack like surprises?"

"Nope, I don't think so! Not surprise  _parties,_ at least. She said..." Pinkie paused and cleared her throat. "Ah like a good shindig 'n all but ah juss don' got the time fer anythin' unexpected like that! Ah got apples ta buck!"

"I do  _not_ talk like that!" Applejack shouted across the room. The indignance in her voice was definitely false from the way she grinned playfully as Twilight and Pinkie giggled about it.

"For the record, I don't mind surprise parties at all," Twilight told her.

"Really?" Pinkie leaned closer with wide eyes. "I thought you did. Don't you get annoyed by that stuff?"

"I used to be annoyed by a lot of things." Actually, now that she said this out loud, hadn't Pinkie been one of those things? It wasn't as if she'd ever hated her, or thought she was a bad friend, but Twilight had been bad enough for it to be shameful to think about this. Twilight hadn't been nice to her at  _all_. Pinkie had been a little tactless sometimes, sure, but Twilight would always be patronizing her optimism far more than necessary. She'd only been trying to make everything happy. It was really admirable. Twilight was grateful for coming to realize this, but thinking about the way she used to act was embarrassing.

The things she liked about Pinkie were the same things that used to get on her nerves. Had Twilight grown as a pony, then, or was Pinkie just hard to turn away? Maybe it was a little bit of both. It was hard to imagine even coming close to disliking her now.

"But some of it's grown on me," she added, trying to keep her thoughts quiet. She couldn't say any of that out loud, especially right here and right now. Especially now that she knew that Pinkie Pie had a crush on her. The mere thought of that sent heat into her face, and she had to look away before what she was thinking about became too obvious. "It's like you said, as long as I don't have anything important planned it's really fun. I guess I'm biased, though. You're the only one who's thrown me surprise parties." 

" _Ever?_ " Pinkie gasped. "You mean your parents and your big brother best friend forever didn't do anything?"

Twilight knew it was childish to still be calling him that, but she couldn't let go of it. Maybe she had a subconscious longing for being so carefree and whimsical. 

Like Pinkie was. She used Shining Armor's childish, immature nickname for Twilight. She was so accepting of everything about Twilight. So why was Twilight worried about embarrassing herself?

She let herself smile at her thoughts of admiration. "No, Shining Armor did, a couple of times. But we were foals, it was different."

Pinkie leaned a little closer. Despite having nothing to be embarrassed about, Twilight stiffened for a second. She wasn't sure why. They'd been much closer to each other than this. It was because she had a crush on Twilight now, wasn't it? No, Twilight couldn't think about that.

"Why was it different?" Pinkie's eyes shined with interest. Interest in this silly thing that Twilight needed to take a second to remember that she'd mentioned. Again, it was flattering.

"We didn't have salaries or anything," Twilight explained, trying to keep her complex feelings out of her voice and out of her mind. "He just got some balloons and such from a little shop. He made a cake once, but he knew nothing about baking, so from then on he had to beg our parents to do it."

"That's cute," Pinkie giggled. "Why'd he stop?"

"We got older, that's all."

Was that wrong of her to say? Could that be taken as a way of calling Pinkie immature? It didn't seem to be thought about for too long. Pinkie just grinned without any of that hesitation. "Well, now you're friends with a party planner, so--" She quickly booped Twilight's nose with her hoof. "--you have a million chances for surprise parties!" Then she paused to look away and tap her chin. "But, I guess it's not a surprise if I tell you now. I'll have to be super duper sneaky about it. Maybe I'll surprise you with no surprise, but then there would be a surprise all along!" She beamed back at Twilight. "You'll never see it coming!"

Pinkie Pie was cute. She was really, really cute. And the vague thought wondering if she was in love was back for the rest of the evening.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry if this took too long i wanted to shift focus to some other fics for a little while...i hope this turned out okay


	4. Wednesday

Tuesday's discovery had aged enough by this point to be much less flattering and much more embarrassing.

It wasn't much of an embarassment that Pinkie Pie had a crush on Twilight, and that Twilight knew all about it. Rather, it was the utter confusion overwhelming her, the tightened invisible grip on her, threatening to cause some sort of ambiguous disaster if she left her bedroom.

So the door was shut tight. Spike had knocked on it earlier only to ask if she needed anything. She'd said no. She didn't want to burden him with whatever she was feeling. He was too little for that kind of stress.

The window, however, was open, for the chance the fresh air would clear out the cluttered, complex emotion in her. It didn't seem to work, but Twilight didn't want to give up on that hope. Plus, the air made her bedroom smell nice, so at least she had that. 

But she was alone. She wanted to be alone, though, kind of. After how happy she'd been yesterday, the morning just seemed a little underwhelming. She didn't know why. It didn't have anything to do with Pinkie, did it? Pinkie always made her happy these days, but she couldn't rely on her so much. She knew this. She knew it wasn't a good idea, at all, but she also knew that she wanted to be with Pinkie again.

Did that make her needy? She knew it probably wouldn't matter to Pinkie, but it mattered to her whether or not she was being immature and unreasonable.

When she saw Rainbow Dash through her window, she called to her and asked if she could tell Pinkie to come over for lunch.

Rainbow Dash smirked. "Is  _this_ gonna be your first date?"

Twilight pouted. "Are you gonna do this for me or not?"

"Yeah, yeah. I love setting my friends up on dates." She winked. "Don't sweat, though, I won't tell her that you have a humongous crush on her."

She zoomed away before Twilight had a chance to scold her, before Twilight realized how impulsive she'd just been.

Too late to go after Rainbow Dash and tell her to forget it. Twilight hadn't even given a time. What in the world was she supposed to do now? Just wait to drown in the unexplained anxiety swelling in her?

What did she even plan to talk to Pinkie about? She couldn't tell her what she knew. There was no telling what would happen if she did. She still didn't even have a real reaction to it.

She'd already wondered whether or not she was in love with Pinkie. Missing her presence and thinking about her like this had to be a part of something bigger. But maybe she was delusional. Maybe she was too desparate to be in love, too eager to accept whoever thought of her that way. If Twilight was too impulsive, their friendship would be ruined forever.

Was it a risk worth taking?

Maybe she had to just be honest with Pinkie. After they had lunch together. They'd have to find out how they wanted to do that first. And Twilight couldn't talk about it while they were trying to eat. She'd have to just stall with casual conversation until they were finished.

It really was kind of like a date, wasn't it? That thought somehow made Twilight feel a little better, but not much.

An hour passed, and Pinkie still hadn't arrived. Twilight was antsy now. She wished Rainbow Dash had returned with at least an R.S.V.P. Pinkie probably didn't have a reason to decline, though. Unless she was trying to avoid Twilight again.

But Twilight couldn't tell this stuff to anypony else. Even Rainbow Dash, who'd just teased her about it. She didn't know how much longer she could postpone telling Pinkie Pie what she knew and what she was thinking. She didn't know how much longer she could wait.

Another hour later, Twilight couldn't take it. She left her room and galloped down to the castle doors. When she threw them open, Pinkie Pie was already right in front of her.

"Ah!" Twilight yelped, slightly startled. "I didn't know you were coming!"

At this, Pinkie flinched. "Dashie told me you wanted me to come...did you actually tell her that? Or is this a trap?"

Twilight shook her head.  "No, I did tell her. I was going to see you, actually, to make sure you were coming. Come in."

Having Pinkie here made Twilight's task seem a little easier, but Twilight couldn't bring herself to look up at her as they walked back to Twilight's bedroom. Doubt started to mix with her nervousness. Doubt in herself, she noticed. She wasn't handling this right. She wasn't thinking right. And now it was too late to change her mind.

When she closed the door, everything inside her screamed with regret.

"Sorry," she forced out, with no idea what else to do.

"What's wrong?"

Twilight couldn't answer. She couldn't even try. She pushed herself to at least lie back on her bed. "I don't know. I'm sorry, I got...I got nervous, and I guess I just wasted your time on--"

"No!" Pinkie, of course, quickly followed her. "It's not wasted! Tell me what's wrong!" 

This was all too much. The only way Twilight could hide was by pulling the end of her blanket over herself. "I don't know...I'm sorry, Pinkie..."

Pinkie wasn't supposed to care about her like this. Twilight wasn't supposed to think of her like this. She wasn't supposed to worry so much over something that was supposed to be so easy. But she could hardly tell what that easy thing was anymore. She could hardly tell what was even going on. She just didn't want whatever this was. She didn't want whatever she was feeling.

Something lightly touched her back and startled her for a second before she realized it was just Pinkie slowly stroking up and down her back.

It'd be rude to tell Pinkie to leave now, but Twilight still wished she didn't have to do this for her.

"Do you remember how to breathe like how Cadance showed you once?" Pinkie's whisper was shaky, like she was forcing herself to keep her voice down.

Twilight poked her head out of her blanket to nod at her. She was grateful that Pinkie knew to remind her of that, but it was a little embarrassing. If Pinkie was realizing how weird and unstable Twilight was, she probably wouldn't have a crush on her anymore. Why was that outcome sad to think about?

Once Twilight drew the air through her body to clear it of tension--that's how she was supposed to look at it--she sat up and looked over to see Pinkie, who immediately asked, "Do you want me to leave you alone?"

Strangely, Twilight wasn't so afraid of having her here anymore. But would Pinkie be willing to tolerate this kind of baggage?

"You don't have to stay," she carefully answered, averting her eyes. "But I...I wouldn't mind if you did." She waited, seeing if Pinkie would leave, hoping she wouldn't, but she still felt her watching her patiently. "I've, um...yesterday..."

No, no, what was she doing? She couldn't talk about that now. She didn't know how she felt. She didn't know how she was supposed to feel. Did she like this or not? Did she like the way Pinkie looked at her all the time? Did she like the way Pinkie blushed when they talked for long? Did she want to keep that?

"What's that supposed to mean?" Pinkie's question stopped her from thinking too much again. Was it too late to backtrack?

"No, I'm just trying to figure out how to say this..." This wasn't the time to say "I know you have a crush on me." Twilight knew that, at least. But she had to at least get out a little bit of her tangled worries. How was she supposed to put something she didn't recognize into words?

Pinkie didn't try to wait too long to ask something else. "Did something happen after Applejack's party?"

"No, I just went home." She'd also lain awake for hours that night thinking about whatever was locked in her heart right now, but that was one of the things she had to hide for now.

"Where did you go?"

Twilight looked back up at her, no idea what she was trying to ask. "Um...I'm right here."

"No, silly, at the party. I didn't see you for a while. And Rainbow Dash said she didn't see you either."

"Oh!" This wasn't something to divulge, either. She quickly lied, "I...I was looking for you. I guess I went in all the wrong places."

Twilight wished her squirming and downward gaze and involuntary nervous smile didn't give her away. She sighed with relief when Pinkie responded, "Okay, I was just wondering. Why didn't you just ask somepony?"

"It slipped my mind." As if all this wasn't enough, Twilight felt herself blushing now. 

"Why were you looking for me, anyway?"

They both likely knew what the most logical answer would be, but Twilight didn't want to force her into those same feelings that made her run away from Twilight. Maybe she was afraid Pinkie would leave too soon. "I just wanted to talk to you." It wasn't a lie. Twilight did want to talk with her. That was why she wanted her here in the first place. 

"What happened, then?" Pinkie asked again. There was really no way Twilight could stop her from wondering. "What were you gonna say about yesterday?"

She couldn't lie again. She didn't have the heart to.

"Ah...I was thinking a lot about--" No, no, it still wasn't time to be honest, either. "No, I-I change my mind, I don't want to talk about it."

Twilight couldn't look up at her again. She kept turning away like this. Turning away and keeping secrets. Why? What was she afraid of? She hated doing this. She really, really hated it.

She remembered part of the confession that she'd overheard the day before. "I just want everything to be normal again." Pinkie had sounded so distressed when she said it. It was a little heartbreaking to hear, and even moreso when Twilight realized Pinkie had likely been feeling this ugly knot of vague fears that she felt now.

Was that reciprocation? Or was reciprocation the thing Twilight dreaded so awfully?

Maybe it was change she was afraid of. A romantic relationship was a drastic shift from a strictly platonic one. And it was very possible that their friends would never see them the same way. And maybe they would feel excluded. What if giving in to reciprocation darkened their fate forever?

"How does an elephant ask for buns?"

The question pulled Twilight right out of her pondering. It was so sudden and odd. Pinkie's eyes seemed to twinkle. It seemed like she had a mischievous plan.

"I...don't know?" Twilight reacted, utterly clueless.

Pinkie raised a hoof over her head and curled it down, and spoke in a badly imitated falsetto: "Can I have a bun please?"

Something about it provoked Twilight to fall back on her bed in a fit of giggles. She smiled even more when Pinkie joined her.

She was so cute.

"I was almost expecting a pun," Twilight spoke between laughter. "I didn't know you had an elephant voice."

"Why wouldn't I?" Pinkie shrugged. "I gotta be prepared."

"For  _what?_ " Twilight rolled her eyes and threw her hooves up. "Communication? That's not how it works!"

"How do you know that?"

"You don't see Fluttershy talking to bears in a deep growly voice!"

"Well, we all do things differently!" Pinkie argued. "And Fluttershy can't make a growly voice anyway!"

Twilight's laughter softened, but she still felt herself smiling when she spoke. "I guess it all has to do with her gift anyway. I could  _learn_  how to communicate with animals using body language, but Fluttershy would always be more fluent." Without thinking enough, she added, "You, too. I can't make ponies happy the way you do."

" _No!_ " Pinkie instantly protested, sitting up and pounding her hoof into the comforter. "You make ponies happy every day! You make  _me_ happy every day!"

Twilight hated to look away again, but it was a habit at this point. "Well, I'm sure ponies are happy around me because I'm a princess and all, and I'm usually good at solving disputes, but that's it, really. You have a special way with things." She tried to smile at her again. "That's all I meant."

"Yeah, but  _I'm_ not good at solving disputes!" Pinkie cried. "I just make ponies happy!"

"That's important, too, isn't it? Sometimes being happy for a while helps you get past the tough things." Actually, didn't Pinkie know this? At this point, why would she ever doubt her own importance? "Have you been okay?"

"What do you mean?" Pinkie was apparently oblivious to the implication. "I've done an okay job at Sugarcube Corner, I've done an okay job with planning parties--"

"I  _mean_ ," Twilight interrupted, "you usually aren't self-critical like that. You're really yourself when you're confident."

Pinkie shifted a little, which gave away some of her true feelings. "I just think you're absolutely amazing I don't want you to think that you're not," she answered, with the smallest hesitation.

"You can be kind to me without acting like I'm better than you." Pinkie never did this sort of thing. Even if Twilight knew her real motive, it was still unsettling. "And, honestly, it makes me feel bad to see you do that."

Pinkie couldn't seem to counter this. She lay back on the bed in defeat. "I wish there was a better way to make you happy. All I did was make it worse."

She looked so vulnerable and doubtful. It hurt Twilight more than it should've. What did that mean?

Twilight found herself lifting her wing over Pinkie as she stared down at her, feeling almost like her heart was tightening. "Pinkie, stop it. This isn't like you at all."

Instead of replying, Pinkie hugged the wing close and snuggled into it, and Twilight gently pulled her closer. It sent some wave of love over Twilight.

But what kind of love was it supposed to be?

"You  _do_ make me happy," Twilight murmured. It was somewhat of a realization. She always knew it'd been true, but this was different. The reason was supposed to be obvious, but it didn't quite register yet. "You always do. Don't make yourself think that you haven't."

Pinkie didn't move away to ask, "Are you happy right now?"

Was she happy? Was she happy, looking down at this lovely fluffy pony hugging her and trusting her, and, yes, loving her? Was she happy in the completely soft and warm moment?

"I'm happy if you are," she decided to answer.

She lay down beside her and nuzzled into her. She felt Pinkie's warmth cling tighter to her, and they held each other for a long moment. Long enough to let Twilight's thoughts wander.

If loving Pinkie meant feeling like this all the time, it really wasn't much to fret about. They would always comfort each other, just like this. And Twilight would always be comforted by her fluffy warmth. She wanted it. She wanted this.

Maybe a real date wouldn't hurt. It was very pleasing to imagine being able to have a lunch date--

"Oh, gosh..." Twilight remembered. "I planned to have lunch together today and I forgot all about it."

"That's okay, I forgot too." There was a giggle hidden in Pinkie's words. It was kind of relieving to hear. "I didn't even bring anything."

"Well, I really just wanted..." She felt her whole body blushing now. Was that even possible, especially with such a tame confession? "I wanted to know how you were doing. We can plan for a different day if you want. It'd be less messy."

"What about Wednesday makes lunches messy?"

"No, I mean...I'd be better prepared." Twilight closed her eyes and snuggled again. "I think it's too late to have lunch today. I don't really have an appetite, anyway."

"Are you sick?"

"No, I don't  _feel_  sick." At least, not other than her flusterment. Twilight started to sit up, then changed her mind, not wanting to leave Pinkie's side just yet. "I'm too busy tomorrow, but I can have lunch with you Friday."

Technically, Twilight wasn't busy. She just needed another day of contemplation. But Pinkie wouldn't figure that out.

"Do you have any secret hideouts to have a lunch at like you do for watching sunrises?" Pinkie asked.

Twilight shook her head. "No, but I could probably find one if I have time." Yes, that was a good excuse. "We can decide where to go once it's Friday." She felt herself smile, just at the thought of spending more time with her. "Let's meet here, okay?"

Pinkie nodded, but otherwise, neither of them moved. It made Twilight self-conscious to think so, but she like having Pinkie next to her like this. She wasn't sure how long they were supposed to lie here before it got awkward.

Ignoring her fear of improper cuddling etiquette, Twilight slowly started sitting up, which made Pinkie do the same. They didn't have to be weird and ask if it was okay to stop, so that was a relief. 

"Thank you for coming over," Twilight said softly. "Normally I'd have you stay longer, but..." She bit her lip. That wasn't the right thing to say, was it? There really wasn't a right way to tell her "I think I love you too, but I need to think more about it."

Fortunately, Pinkie didn't push it this time. She hopped off the bed and chirped, "I'll see you Friday, then!" before waving and closing the door behind her.

Twilight fell back on her bed. Considering that she basically just kicked Pinkie out of her home so that she could contemplate things, it was hard for her to find a starting point.

The most important question to try to answer was whether or not Twilight would want Pinkie to be her girlfriend. In general, Twilight really liked the idea of being in love and dating a girl. But ideas and actual experiences were different. The thing she seemed to fear most was the possibility that it would all crash down later. If they decided they didn't want to date anymore, their friendship would be tainted by that awkward experience, and their friends would see them even more differently than if they were still in love.

That was all Twilight processed before her door swung open again. This time it was Spike, his little hands clasped together in awe.

"You're going on a date with Pinkie Pie?"

Would it be a date? A date meant that she did reciprocate Pinkie's love, at least enough to consider embracing and accepting it. Enough to have the confidence to say that she was in love, which she thought of as a very delicate phrase. Enough to tell Pinkie that she knew her secret, and she loved her, too.

Twilight grinned and nodded. "Yes, I'm going on a date with her."


	5. Thursday

Twilight Sparkle had been thinking about the difference between the words "profess" and "confess."

The difference was the first three letters-- _pro_ and  _con_. The word  _profess_ had a more positive connotation. It implied that the truth was something to be proud of, something to show off. Something that one would be incredibly eager to reveal. It was for things like happy news and accomplishments. The word  _confess,_ on the other hoof, was negative. It carried shame and guilt. The truth was something to dread, something that could ruin or even destroy things. While the truth would be necessary to know, it wouldn't be a happy truth. It would only bring despair.

Well, maybe that was a little overdramatic. In any case, confessions were things to be ashamed of. When she told Applejack that she'd heard her talking to Pinkie the other day, it was definitely a confession.

Applejack didn't seem to hold any grudge for it, though. In fact, she chuckled a little. "I figured you'd find out one way or 'nother. That's just how you are."

"I was going to tell Pinkie that yesterday," Twilight said, "but I freaked out at the last minute. So she still doesn't know that I know."

Applejack nodded, pausing to buck her legs to the nearest apple tree. "Not surprised. That sorta stuff wounds ya tighter than a clock."

"Well, I need to tell her eventually." Twilight tilted her head. "Or do you think I should let her tell me first?"

Applejack shrugged. "Eh, I couldn't say. I'm no romance expert. Probably why me and Dash didn't go so well."

" _What?_ " Her and Dash? Did that mean what it sounded like? Wouldn't Twilight have known?

"Yeah, I told her I fancied her and we went on a date or two 'fore decidin' to cut it off." Applejack bucked another tree nonchalantly. "That's why we never really talked about it. Didn't wanna getcha too excited or nothin'."

"B-but I should've noticed somehow!" Twilight sputtered. "I mean...didn't you just say I always figure things like that out? Or something? And it's not like you're a good liar or anything!"

Applejack laughed softly again. "I never lied. Nopony asked 'bout how I felt about her, so I never needed to."

Twilight leaped in front of her. "You're still friends, right? You're not just faking it?"

"Course we're friends!" Applejack grinned. "Nothin' says 'friendship' like trustin' a gal enough to tell her yer in love with her and keepin' things normal after that." After a short, thoughtful pause she added, "I got over her, though. Love-wise. If anythin', it made us better pals than before."

Was Applejack trying to subtly teach her about how to deal with her feelings, or was she just rambling? It was certainly helpful to know that her friendship with Pinkie wouldn't be ruined. Probably. After all, she and Pinkie were much different ponies than Rainbow Dash and Applejack. But the thing Twilight wasn't most concerned with wasn't necessarily the state of their friendship. She was just trying to figure out how she felt.

"What do you think about all this?" Twilight asked. "If she and I became girlfriends?"

Applejack smiled at her again, very warmly. "Honestly? I think it'd be real dandy. I like the idea of you two. But if you decide it won't work, nopony's gonna hold it against ya."

"I don't want to make you and Rainbow feel awkward."

"Nah, don't worry 'bout that, hon. We're over that incident. Just a funny little story to us now."

"And another thing..." Twilight was a little hesitant to add more. She didn't want to be too needy to Applejack, but Applejack could probably want to know what she had to say anyway. "I'm just confused on whether or not I see her that way. I feel like I do, but I might just be desparate. And I know I could just do what you did and see it in an experimental way, but that just doesn't feel right to me."

Applejack seemed to ignore this at first, bucking another tree without giving her any more attention. Twilight started to question whether it would be necessary to repeat herself, but Applejack spoke soon enough. "Whaddaya like about her?"

What kind of question was that? "We've all known each other for too long for me to answer something like that," Twilight pointed out. "I like everything about Pinkie. But that doesn't mean anything about whether I like her differently."

Applejack nodded firmly, and kept watching expectantly.

"I guess," Twilight continued uncertainly, "if I like her differently, that means I'd want to kiss her and all, but it's not unheard of for ponies to kiss their friends. And Pinkie Pie is so fluffy, I think it's hard to not want to snuggle up to her like that."

"Guess that's true," Applejack commented.

"But...I think, ultimately, I would like it if I could call her my girlfriend."

That was really the only way Twilight knew how to put it. It felt true. If that felt true, it meant that, yes, she was in love with Pinkie Pie. Definitely.

Applejack caught onto this, too. She smiled with her. "You need any more help figurin' it out?"

"No, I don't think so. Thank you for listening to me, Applejack."

"Anytime, sugarcube."

With that, Twilight opened her wings and took off toward the castle.

* * *

"Pinkie Pie has a crush on you!"

Without even a hint of a greeting, Rainbow Dash had shoved open the bedroom window to deliver this breaking (not literally, fortunately) news.

"I know," Twilight responded bluntly. She remained lying on her side on the bed, but she was already facing Rainbow Dash, so she could see her snicker through her next words.

"Oh, was she a total disaster around you or something?" She opened her wings to hover off the floor. "I don't think she realized how obvious she is about it. I went to see her this morning, just to chill, and I mentioned that thing you wanted her for, and all she could talk about was how happy she wanted to make you and how happy you always make her." She winked. "That's gay."

Twilight was honestly grateful for Rainbow Dash's enthusiasm, especially now that she knew about the incident with Applejack. "I definitely would've caught onto it," she agreed, keeping her giggle quiet. "But I actually overheard her confiding in Applejack about it."

"Oh, when was that?"

"At her birthday party."

"Ohhh." Rainbow Dash nodded in understanding. "So, that's why you sorta vanished for a while?"

"Mm-hmm." Twilight gently swished her tail absentmindedly. "I think I like her that way, too."

"Oooh!" Rainbow Dash clapped her hooves together. "I knew it! You  _do_ have an embarrassing crush on Pinkie Pie!"

"It's not  _embarrassing,_ " Twilight protested, even though they both knew she was blushing. "We're going on a date tomorrow, anyway." Rainbow Dash covered her mouth to muffle her squeal. Twilight ignored this. "I just don't know where to go yet."

Rainbow Dash lowered her hooves to speak. "Where did you go when you watched the sunrise together?"

"Just a hill." Twilight lifted her head a bit higher. "Why? Do you think that would be a good spot?"

Rainbow nodded. "Yeah, it's romantic or something. Maybe thinking about your first not-date will help set the mood and you can tell her you're madly in love with--"

"It's not like  _that_!" Twilight interrupted, narrowing her eyes. "I know for a fact she likes me that way, too. It just took me a little while to figure out what  _I_ really felt."

Rainbow Dash shrugged. "Anyway, do you need help getting ready? I mean, Pinkie probably doesn't care what you're wearing or anything, but maybe I can help with small talk or something."

"We've known each other for years, Rainbow," Twilight replied. "Small talk would just hinder this stuff. After we're honest with each other, it's just talking like we always do."

"Okay, cool. Guess you've got it in the bag, then, right?"

"Yes. It'll be fine."

It really wouldn't be that hard. When Twilight professed her feelings to Pinkie, she wouldn't be wondering how Pinkie would react. She would be waiting to see her realize that she could be more open and free about her own love, and share that special kind of joy with Twilight.

That was what it meant to be in love with Pinkie Pie. That pony's whole way of living revolved around joy and her ways of sharing it. Being in love with her meant taking that joy and filling it with love and comfort and support and returning that to her. It was only fair. Pinkie had always been so forgiving and open for her. And now she cared for her enough to love her like this, to want to be such a crucial part of her.

Twilight didn't just embrace that fact to return any sort of favor. She already knew that she would absolutely cherish having Pinkie be that part of her life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> one of my 6 personality traits is "excited for gay friends but knows nothing about romance" and i accidentally projected it onto dash


	6. Friday

Twilight Sparkle had never really experienced love confessions or anything of the sort. She'd had crushes before, but they were never this significant, nor did they ever really lead to anything, so this was very foreign to her. During this week, she'd been finding that she had trouble believing anypony would genuinely say that they were in love with her, never mind believing she would have a picnic date with one of her best friends.

Wait, Pinkie did know they were having a picnic, right? Did Twilight even tell her what time she was expecting her? No wonder she seemed to be taking so long to show up. This was embarrassing. It wasn't like Twilight to be so scatterbrained. Pinkie wouldn't care about this sort of thing under normal circumstances, but this was a  _date,_ whether they called it one or not. Would this sort of carelessness come off as not caring enough about her? Of course it would. It was called  _carelessness_ for a reason. How would Pinkie be able to be honest with her? How could Twilight trust herself to show that she really did reciprocate it? 

Twilight had more questions rolling in that snowball of worry, but they were halted as something suddenly pinned her to the ground. She yelped just before recognizing her fluffy attacker. "Hi, Twilight!" Pinkie giggled, squeezing her into a hug.

Twilight gratefully returned it. Of course Pinkie wasn't upset with her. It was still strange how being with somepony so excitable made her feel calmer and more tolerant of herself. She didn't need another reminder that she loved Pinkie Pie, but here it was anyway.

Once Pinkie remembered to let her get back on her hooves, Twilight decided it would still be best to let Pinkie know her plans. She was wearing her white saddlebags, but Twilight wanted to be certain. "Did I tell you that it was going to be a picnic?"

"I dunno, but it doesn't matter!" Pinkie gave Twilight another hug, a quick one, another wave of reassurance. "I love picnics!"

Was it wrong to become so much happier and more eager to tell Pinkie she loved her in the few moments since she'd arrived? Twilight didn't have time to answer that fear. "Let's go, then. I already have a spot picked out." In her quickening excitement she opened her wings, but soon enough realized what they would be carrying. "Oh, I-I don't think flying would work."

They exchanged a quick glance, and Twilight thought she saw something in her expression. Maybe it was just her imagination, but looking at Pinkie made her feel a bit more affection. She seemed incredibly pretty today. It was a tad frightening to feel that change within her.

Twilight never really understood the symbol of a heart with an arrow through it. Now she realized that was probably how falling in love felt. She hoped so. She had a quick train of fear run through her thoughts again-- _Maybe I'm just sick. I don't want to fall in love because I'm sick. That's so unnerving. Pinkie Pie deserves to have genuine reciprocation. I don't want to accidentally lie to somepony so wonderful_ \--but it passed just as instantly.

Whatever happened, Pinkie clearly didn't think anything of it. She simply smiled and said, "We can just walk. It's not far, is it?"

No, there wasn't anything wrong with Twilight. There wasn't anything wrong with the way she treasured Pinkie's smile. "No, it's not," she answered, feeling the worry escape her again as she spoke.

They walked beside each other. Twilight didn't tell where they were going; she thought it would be a neat surprise. She was excited now to take Pinkie there, but now there was something else bothering her. Pinkie was oddly quiet. Twilight expected her to have started a conversation by now. There was no good reason for her to not want to speak to her, especially right after being so cheerfully affectionate. Did she remember something upsetting? It happened with Twilight sometimes, but she really didn't know what Pinkie would be upset about. Was it too late to break the silence and ask? Was it too late to break the silence at all?

Fortunately, Pinkie did so first. "What did you do yesterday?"

Twilight flinched, but managed to keep her pace. She never thought of what to tell Pinkie about yesterday. It wasn't the right time to say something like, "I was trying to find out if I was in love with you." That would be such a sloppy confession. "I-I was..." She glanced away for a second as she threw together an excuse. "...busy..."

"Is it a secret?" Pinkie asked.

"I'll tell you when we get there."

That wasn't wrong to say, right? Was that an acceptable answer? She watched cautiously as Pinkie suddenly bounced up, beaming again. "It's like a quest, to a picnic  _and_ finding out what you did yesterday!"

"Well, I-I didn't set up the picnic beforehand," Twilight sighed through a smile. It was fine. The strange tension had passed, and she hadn't said anything the wrong way. "In case it rained or anything."

"You could've asked Rainbow Dash," Pinkie pointed out. "She has the whole weather schedule, doesn't she?"

"I thought it'd be too pushy," Twilight explained. "And she could change her mind, or forget, or fail to convince the other pegasi. There's also the risk of food spoiling, or wild animals stealing it."

By now they were among the hills. Pinkie took a moment to look around at them as Twilight led her toward their destination. "Do you like these hills a lot?"

Twilight nodded. "It's just so spacious. I'm surprised nopony's tried to build anything here."

"Yeah, like in all those books where they try to build a big ugly factory in a park and the main character has to save nature."

"Exactly!" Twilight laughed a little. She wasn't sure if Pinkie was just making some offhand comment, but Twilight subconsciously took up the excuse to go on a tangent. "That kind of cliché gets on my nerves, honestly! They usually don't even handle it realistically! I know development on natural areas is a problem, but whoever writes these stories clearly doesn't understand it! It has a lot more to do with preserving culture and the environment than some supervillain who doesn't think flowers are pretty!"

Pinkie stifled a giggle before running over to a yellow dandelion nearby. "Grr, this nature  _disgusts_ me!" she declared, definitely trying very hard to sound gruff and menacing. "This flower has disgraced me for the last time!" Twilight knew this whole thing was ridiculous, but it didn't keep her from laughing at it. It was Pinkie's sort of ridiculous, a good ridiculous. It was comforting in a very, very odd way to watch Pinkie rub her hooves together evilly and cackle, "Soon, these dumb flowers will be crushed underneath my  _capitalism factory!_  I will  _defeat_ this flower  _once and for all_!"

They fell onto the grass to laugh together and embrace the silliness before Twilight realized they were at the right hill. When they stood again they carried their things up to the top and Twilight pulled out the picnic blanket to begin setting it up. She noticed Pinkie was also unpacking some fruit and a small box of red velvet cupcakes. It wasn't surprising that Pinkie remembered Twilight's favorite kind of cupcake, but she felt flattered anyway.

Twilight knew Pinkie was going to prompt her to reveal what happened the day before. But something about that didn't feel right. Twilight already knew that Pinkie reciprocated her feelings, but not vice versa. Wouldn't it be more fulfilling to see Pinkie experience the miraculous surprise of it? It felt conceited, but something told Twilight that it would be the best way to handle it.

When Pinkie asked again what the secret was, Twilight only answered, "You first." She didn't want to ruin it, but she wanted Pinkie to have some sort of clue of the secret Twilight wanted her to tell. 

"If you know I have a secret," Pinkie cautiously replied, "then wouldn't you know what it is?"

It was safe enough for Pinkie to admit she had a secret at all. That was good. Twilight, afraid to give too much away, tried focusing her attention on her sandwich. "I just wanted to know what you did yesterday. It might...make me feel a little better about telling you."

Was that enough? Pinkie was quiet. Twilight wanted to give her however much time she needed, so she kept her eyes lowered. If she focused enough on cutting the sandwich in a perfectly symmetrical fashion, it would probably relieve both of them of some pressure.

She'd already started making a cut. It was good so far. She had to connect it flawlessly to the opposite corner. She made a cut on that side as well. They were aimed straight at each other. In the narrow gap, nothing hung out from the center of the sandwich. It was impressive, considering the knife was plastic. She could rest the edge of it onto the gap, to get an idea of the direction of the next slice. 

Doing that gave Twilight a brief window of awareness that she was supposed to be on a date.

Pinkie still hadn't said anything. When Twilight looked up at her she immediately knew that something was wrong. Pinkie was blushing bright crimson, and her whole body was trembling visibly. She glanced at Twilight for a millisecond before murmuring something inaudible. 

Twilight didn't stop to think that she wasn't supposed to ruin this. If Pinkie was feeling so fatally pressured, it wouldn't be happy. She needed to be happy. Twilight wanted to make her happy.

She bounded toward her and opened her wings to pull her closer. Immediately, she felt the fluffy girl relax against her, breathing shakily through her mouth. Holding her like this was comforting, hopefully as much for Pinkie as it was for Twilight.

"It's fine, Pinkie." After a minute or two of silence, Twilight pulled away just enough so that they could look at each other, just enough so that Pinkie wouldn't notice that Twilight's heart was beating faster. "I know what it is. I still want to hear you say it."

Pinkie broke her stare and held back onto Twilight as soon as the words "I love you" escaped. 

It was exactly what Twilight already knew, but it still felt like a reassuring confirmation. Twilight's pulse slowed down again. She was even more grateful for this than before. Had she secretly been in love this entire time? Even before this week? That would be incredible. Almost like they were soulmates. But that felt like an intense way of looking at it. They didn't need to be soulmates. Twilight was happy just holding her close and loving her.

"How did you know?" Pinkie asked, not budging from their hug. 

It was time to confess. "I found out on Tuesday," Twilight explained, finding that there was a taste of guilt in her voice due to the fact that Twilight had been nosy and invasive enough to eavesdrop. "I heard you tell Applejack. And then I needed to leave for a while to think about how to handle it. I thought, maybe...I could be happy with it. So I told Rainbow Dash to tell you to come over so I could find out. And, well...I was right."

"What were you right about?"

"I was right about loving you."

That seemed to give Pinkie the reality she wanted. She almost felt the aura of relief and joy bursting from Pinkie as she snuggled deeply into her chest. That aura filled Twilight as well, and so she responded by lowering her head to nuzzle Pinkie. "I was telling the truth when I said that you always make me happy."

"Will being girlfriends make you happy, too?" 

Twilight could hear the hope and eagerness filling that question. Even if she didn't, though, her answer would be just as immediate and genuine. "It would make me overjoyed, Pinkie. And I want to share that with you."

She'd realized it the day before. Being in love with Pinkie Pie meant being in love with the way she showed all the happiness she was able to find even in the most abysmal situations. Of course, this situation was far from abysmal, but the way Pinkie's whole expression lit up as she fidgeted with unmanageable enthusiasm until she finally breathed with amazement, "I love you, Twilight!"

"I love you too."

And that was that. They were lovers.

They finally decided that they should probably start eating their lunch before anything bad happened to it. Twilight finished cutting her sandwich in half, realizing that it was really weird of her to have not just made a single easy cut to get the same result of symmetry, and took a bite out of it. Chewing let her think and remember what Pinkie had actually asked her on the way over here. She swallowed and answered. "I told Applejack yesterday that I heard what you said to her. And I wanted to know what she'd think if we started dating. She said she'd like it."

Pinkie glanced away in hesitation before responding, "Did she say it'd be dandy?"

Twilight laughed softly at that, but it wasn't surprising. "Dandy" was one of those words that only Applejack and her family would say these days. "She did say that. And then I went home to plan for today. Then Rainbow Dash barged in on me saying that she thought you had a crush on me."

"Is she okay with it?"

"Oh, of course. She was really rooting for me to talk to you about it." Twilight took another bite and noticed that Pinkie was timidly brushing her hooves against one another. "Why? Are you worried somepony wouldn't be?"

Pinkie met her eyes again. "I don't want us to all stop being friends."

Twilight nodded. She'd fretted over that too, hadn't she? Pinkie had been there when it was all balling up in the pit of Twilight's stomach and forced her into an anxiety attack. She wondered if that memory showed through her face as Pinkie widened her eyes and hurriedly added, "B-but it probably won't happen! There's nothing wrong with loving you, right? I mean, um, everypony loves you anyway, so, um..."

"I'm scared about that too," Twilight said. Until now, she didn't recognize that the worries were rising again, and even if they weren't they would only do so later. It was better to get it out now, with Pinkie here. If they could share their joy so generously, they could manage to share their burdens and work through them together. That was what love would be. 

"Why would anypony not want to be  _your_ friend?" Pinkie demanded. "You're a beautiful princess who's smarter and cuter and more grown-up than the whole world, who wouldn't like that about you?"

Pinkie didn't seem to realize that Twilight wasn't any better than she was, that they could have a lot of the same feelings. That was fine. It wasn't anyone's fault. Twilight knew Pinkie would understand if Twilight trusted her enough to be completely truthful. "I don't want anypony to think that I think less of them just because I have a different kind of love for you." Twilight held Pinkie's gaze when she spoke, hoping that her eyes would convey her honesty. "That's how I've always thought of it. I love my friends, I just love  _you_ differently. But...I can't really explain it well to every single pony who asks."

"We could keep it a secret." Pinkie flinched with immediate regret. "But I don't want to keep you secret."

"I don't either."

Pinkie Pie was good at making the world a brighter place for Twilight. She'd always been so kind with her. She was beloved by all their friends because of the happiness she'd always been willing to share with them. There was nothing for Twilight to be ashamed of, but did Twilight really give enough back? Or did Pinkie still not see all the good she'd done for her, and instead thought she wasn't good enough for Twilight? Was that a selfish thing to worry about?

"I think it'll be okay." Pinkie smiled at Twilight, a glimmer of faith. "I trusted you enough to say all that, so...I can trust you to help make things better if it goes a little wrong, right?"

Rainbow Dash had mentioned that Pinkie had talked about how Twilight always made her happy. She should've known that Pinkie would accept whatever Twilight felt. "I was worried I'd rely on you too much," she confessed. "You always make me happy. I didn't want to feel like I was just using you. I didn't want to feel like I never did anything for you."

Suddenly, Pinkie leaped over to her and pulled her into a hug. "Are you  _kidding_? You wouldn't be princess if you never did anything, silly goose! And you always make me happy too!"

Twilight held onto her, held onto the feeling of sitting under the healing sunlight, the feeling of their love escaping through the confessions of fear and the reassurance of trust. No, this couldn't be a secret. They were meant to be true to themselves and each other out in the open world. She closed her eyes and smiled. "I'm glad we can be happier together."

She felt Pinkie tense up ever so slightly, as if she wanted to say or do something. Twilight didn't know what that would be, but she didn't ask, and accepted the nuzzle Pinkie gave her. "Yeah, me too."

They returned to their lunch, talking more casually as they always did, along with calling each other cute from time to time. Twilight took a second to observe the trees around the edge of this area, to really take notice of how beautiful the leaves were becoming for the autumn season. "I love autumn trees," she mused aloud. "They look so golden and lovely right now."

She looked back at Pinkie, who was busying herself with opening the little box of cupcakes Twilight had seen earlier. Pinkie paused to meet Twilight's eyes and asked, "Remember when you showed me the sunrise?"

"Of course." It was easy to remember Sunday morning, and how beautiful the sunrise they'd seen was. She remembered all the little things Pinkie had said to make her laugh, but until now she'd almost forgotten that out-of-place sensation that had lurked as the sun was rising. She wasn't quite able to recognize what it was anymore, but since then she'd felt it definitely had something to do with Pinkie Pie, and that reminder made her realize that she'd never really asked Pinkie if she even liked doing that sort of thing. "That...that wasn't too boring, was it? I've just always loved the sunrise, and I guess I thought I ought to share it with you, but..."

The pause that followed would have become much more uncomfortable if Pinkie wasn't quick enough to say, "I actually didn't watch the sunrise."

What was that supposed to mean? It sort of made sense, but Twilight didn't really know how yet. She waited for a further explanation.

"I tried, but I noticed that you looked  _really_ happy about the sunrise..." Pinkie was blushing again, and Twilight could feel her own face reddening at the same time. "...and you're already so pretty and you're even prettier when you're happy, plus the light from the sunrise kind of made you look a little glow-y, so..."

Now Twilight remembered. Pinkie had stared at her during the entire sunrise. Because she thought Twilight was beautiful.

Twilight was probably a tomato right now, and she instinctively shielded her face with her wings. "I can't imagine how much you'll embarrass me when there's other ponies around," she giggled.

Apparently, Pinkie decided that it would be a good idea to fluster Twilight further. She was still hiding in her wings, but through the lavender feathers she could see Pinkie jumping up to stand on her hind legs and face Ponyville. "Hello, world!" she announced. "Twilight Sparkle is really pretty and cute and I love her!"

At this rate, Twilight was going to die, burning up with utter embarrassment. Thankfully, Pinkie spared her and sat back down beside her. They ate cupcakes in another silence, one that Twilight was grateful for, because she wanted to stop blushing so much before conversing again. "We can watch the sunrise tomorrow, if you like," she suggested once she'd calmed down. "Maybe this time you won't be...distracted."

"I think you'd be prettier than the sunrise anyway," Pinkie replied, which certainly didn't help the blushing situation. Pinkie didn't seem to realize this, as she just grinned innocuously and continued. "But I'll have to see for myself. I don't know if I told you, but I haven't actually watched a sunrise in a really long time."

"You did tell me." It would be impossible to forget any detail of that morning now. "All the more reason to take you again."

Pinkie nodded enthusiastically. Her smile was so bright and wonderful, just like her. Twilight knew it was ridiculous, but she seemed to fall more in love every time she looked at her.

Twilight Sparkle had never truly fallen in love before. She was so lucky to share it with Pinkie Pie, so lucky to experience this liberating bliss with her. She had a hunch that tomorrow morning would bring them even closer than they thought they could ever be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hewwo i'm sorry that this took 45 years i've had quite a bit of roadblocks including:
> 
>   * ignoring my 100 WIPs to start 100 new ones
>   * a musical of the little mermaid in which i was in the ensemble
>   * a funeral
>   * finding out that bendy and the ink machine is a horror game
>   * "i should probably use thesaurus.com when writing this chapter........maybe later"
>   * watching the entirety of revolutionary girl utena + its movie as fast as possible
>   * existential dread
>   * internalized lesbophobia
>   * snoozing
> 

> 
> i think i ended up rushing toward the end of the chapter. i'm sorry. i hope i haven't tarnished any enjoyment you've had reading it.  
> hopefully the next chapter will go better!!!! stay tuned!!!!!


	7. Saturday

Twilight had gone to sleep pretty early on Friday night, sometime around seven thirty at night. If she slept through the sunrise, it would be a real letdown. They could always reschedule, sure, but this was supposed to be special. It hadn't even been a full twenty-four hours since the milestone of professing to one another. If Twilight took Pinkie to the hills to watch the sunrise together, so soon after they discovered the kind of love they shared, it would be rejuvenating, and it would shine even more light on their new reality. That was what Twilight predicted, anyway. Maybe it wouldn't be that deep.

Since Twilight was so eager to fetch Pinkie before the sunrise that she'd deemed to be of the utmost importance for their bonding, she neglected the fact that Pinkie didn't usually wake up as early as her. She could have seen her through the windows if the curtains didn't happen to be down. Twilight realized that the curtains were a sign to reconsider, but by then she'd already flown right into Pinkie's bedroom.

Once Pinkie recovered from being startled awake by her girlfriend breaking into her home at five thirty in the morning, she probably wouldn't be very angry or annoyed by Twilight's rashness, but Twilight was still ashamed of it. It wasn't as if she could just leave without another word. She had to settle for sitting at the end of Pinkie's bed and sheepishly wait until she felt fluffy forelegs around her.

"Sorry, Pinkie," Twilight greeted her bashfully. "The curtains were closed this time, so I didn't know you were sleeping."

"No, I wanted to wake up early." Pinkie started to snuggle against Twilight's wings. "You're like...a really pretty alarm clock."

"That's not something you hear every day," Twilight giggled. Apparently, Pinkie hadn't woken up quite enough to compliment her like a normal pony. Not that there was anything wromg with this. These kinds of things were always cute. But Twilight was finally considering the idea of not dragging her girlfriend out before she got enough rest. "I can leave if you want to sleep instead."

Pinkie shook her head and pulled away from Twilight. "This is gonna be our seventeen-hour anniversary," she informed her, "so we have to see the sunrise."

"If you say so." Twilight was trying her best to be nonchalant, but the fact that this was as important as she'd thought it was made her a little over-excited. She stood on the floor and levitated Pinkie forcefully to lie on her back.

Pinkie giggled and shifted to a more reasonable position. "I'm not  _that_ sleepy."

"Good." Twilight carried her to the balcony to ready herself to take off into the air. She was grateful that it was still too dark for Pinkie to notice that Twilight was blushing. "I was testing you."

There was already a crisp autumn breeze in the air, fortunately blowing in the direction Twilight intended to fly. It wasn't a strong wind, but it did make the trip more  convenient. She felt Pinkie tighten her hold on her as she flew. Somehow, Twilight knew she was happy, even though she wasn't making a sound. Had she fallen asleep? Would that even be possible for her right now? The smallest part of Twilight thought it would be nice if she did, because she liked the way she locked her hooves over Twilight's breast.

When Twilight landed, she had to ruffle her wings a bit to make sure Pinkie was still awake to get on the ground. Before Pinkie did so, she asked, "Can I hug you when we watch the sunrise?"

Twilight felt a grin spreading on her face at the mere thought of cuddling with Pinkie right here, in the quiet dawn. "That's all I really wanted."

Pinkie hopped to the ground and immediately pulled Twilight in another hug. It was really fortunate that Twilight happened to fall in love with somepony so fluffy and affectionate. Even with her hair all frazzled from the wind, it was nice to have Pinkie press against her like this.

"You're too soft," she complained. "I'm gonna fall asleep before the sun comes."

She'd said something like that on Sunday, hadn't she? Pinkie had made it very clear to Twilight that she wanted to be awake when the sun rose, and Twilight wasn't supposed to let her fall asleep. It was ironic that she ended up not watching the sunrise at all. Twilight held Pinkie tighter as she felt herself blush again. Was she really that pretty?

"I'll wake you up," she promised.

Pinkie tilted her head up, which was the closest thing to eye contact in this position. "How? Are you going to throw me down the hill?"

"No!" Twilight couldn't help laughing at the thought of it. "I'll just shake you or something."

Pinkie shrugged. "I think throwing me down a hill is more effective, but, hey, whatever works."

Twilight rolled her eyes, knowing her smile hadn't faded. "I'm  _not_ doing that."

They gradually began to quietly snuggle with each other. Twilight was surprised that Pinkie had the energy to be nuzzling and brushing against her like this; if they were doing this at might, Twilight would have dozed off in minutes. On the other hoof, it was a little exhilarating. They'd cuddled before, but it'd never been this way. It'd never been so intimate. If Twilight and Pinkie had never met, then Twilight may not have never realized how much she wanted this, how fulfilling it would be.

"This is fun," said Pinkie, as the two of them intertwined their hooves. "It makes me wanna kiss you."

Was Pinkie thinking the same sort of thing, then? Twilight wanted to feel that part of love. She already knew just how perfect it would be to connect that way, to have their lips touch and reach that level of closeness, to express to the world and one another that they were in love, and that they cherished everything about it.

"Does it?" Twilight was still cautious. Did Pinkie really want all that with her right now? Or was she joking?

They separated from each other at the first glimpse of light on the horizon. Twilight watched Pinkie, wondering what her answer would be. Pinkie returned it. Twilight smiled at her, as an invitation for her to say whatever she felt aloud.

"Can I?" Pinkie reflected Twilight's invitation, letting her really see yet again just how pretty she was. Her hair, as she'd thought, was horribly tangled up, but Twilight liked it. She liked how the sliver of sunlight brightened her colors just enough for Twilight to see a shimmer of anticipation in her eyes and a shine of bliss in her smile.

Twilight loved her. Twilight loved every part of her.

"I want you to."

Twilight opened her wings to draw her in. Pinkie lifted a hoof with uncertain movement, and Twilight took it into her own. They needed to be patient. They needed to wait until they were ready to share their passion, until the sun in the distance was just high enough for Twilight to fully see the sky blue eyes gazing thoughtfully at her.

Pinkie smiled again. "I still think you're more beautiful."

With the warm light filling their surroundings, they closed their eyes and closed the gap. Even in quiet darkness, when they touched like this, Twilight knew everything. She knew that Pinkie had been waiting, for longer than even she could realize, to share this part of herself with Twilight. She knew that Pinkie was treasuring every second that they'd spent together. She knew that Pinkie didn't want to let go, because this was such a special kind of magic that she'd never been able to find until know, the kind that stopped the world so that she could savor the love she was brave enough to pursue, the kind that filled her with joyful gratitude for this fate. This wasn't a matter of Twilight thinking highly of herself. Twilight knew all this because they pressed against one another the same way. Twilight knew this because she was thinking the same thoughts in return, and because of that, she knew Pinkie would understand that Twilight was truly in love with her.

Twilight wasn't sure exactly how much time had passed before they simultaneously loosened their hold and opened their eyes again. The world remained still. Twilight was happy like this. For now, as they held their gaze under the morning glow, they didn't need to speak.

 _I just kissed Pinkie Pie,_ Twilight realized. The idea of it was surreal, but she didn't regret it. It was quite the opposite. The funny thing was that if Twilight had even thought they could ever be like this earlier, even if it was years ago, she felt that she would have ended up wanting it. Yes, she wanted this. She wanted this connection with Pinkie Pie.

"I didn't know I could be more sure than I already was that I love you."

Those words caused Pinkie to cover her mouth bashfully. "Am I that good of a kisser?" she giggled.

"That's one way to put it." She found that she couldn't quite describe the senation she'd just been enraptured in. It was love, obviously, but it was also something stronger. "I just...I-I think there was something more there. I can't put my hoof on it."

"I thought it was a dream for a second." Pinkie reached over to hold her chin up--Twilight hadn't even noticed that she'd turned away--and smile. "But it would've been a good dream. If it was a dream, it'd be the best dream I've ever had."

Twilight grinned back at her. "Mine too."

"Too bad it's real, right?" Pinkie let go of her and gazed upward in thought. "I mean, feeling pure love for everything about you and being so sure of how you feel about me would be really neat to dream about."

"Oh, I know," Twilight agreed, knowing what Pinkie really meant, feeling how she really felt. "I'd love to have a dream where I realize just how happy and liberated I am knowing that I'm genuinely in love with you and how grateful I am that you love me too."

"Yeah, and I also wanna dream about being totally  _amazed_ about how good your kissing is."

"And about how soft and gentle it is to touch that way."

"And about--" Pinkie faltered at this point, and she fell against Twilight as they shared a fit of laughter. It was another one of those little things that made Twilight so much happier in a way she'd never even discovered. This kind of joy was something that needed to last as long as possible. That didn't mean that they needed to be side by side like this every second of their lives. They needed to go home sometime soon, and Twilight didn't want to separate here.

"I can bring you back to Sugarcube Corner," she offered.

"Yes, please." Pinkie was brushing her hoof against Twilight's. "I only slept for, like...three or four hours."

Gosh, how in the world had Twilight not considered that? "That's not good!" She sprung up to her hooves, wordlessly urging Pinkie to hold onto her. She'd wanted to admire the svenery on the way home, but that could wait for another day. "I was gonna just walk back, but we don't have time to waste!"

Pinkie stood up, but she didn't rush to get on Twilight's back. "I'm not tired right  _now_ \--"

"You'll never know when it'll sneak up on you!" Twilight insisted.

She wasn't annoyed or agitated or anything like that. Twilight really did want to take a walk with her. She liked seeing the scenery at different times of the day. At midnight, for example, everything had a much more mysterious aura, and the silent darkness was very tranquil. Twilight loved sharing things, and now, because she'd been courageous enough to recognize that she'd fallen in love--maybe even longer than seven days ago--sharing things with Pinkie was so much lovelier now.

Right now, she was content with sharing a quiet flight to get Pinkie back home. Someday, she would spend the night there with her and they could cuddle under her blanket. Someday, she would show Pinkie the world when the sun was just rising, the way everything slowly glowed to life, the way golden light shined on windows. Someday, she would let the world know who she was in love with and why she was proud of that love. It didn't matter how close or how distant those days would end up being. There were so many parts of Twilight Sparkle's life and of her world that she'd share with Pinkie Pie, and she had so much more time for all of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading this!!!! i hope it wasn't too disappointing or anything!!!!!! i honestly think the one i wrote before was better so if you haven't read the first fic in this series yet i think you should consider.....um.....doing that  
> i plan to write more fics in this series once i chill out with the WIPs so if you want you can stick around for those!!!!!


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